Bonus #4 of Grandparents in Town: Being Cared For

June 9, 2008 at 1:14 pm 14 comments

There are days when all I want is to not be an adult anymore. I would rather be a child, or be treated like a child. When you’re a child you don’t have to make any big decisions, you don’t have many jobs to do, you have very little responsibility.

Ever since losing Felicity there are days when all I want is to be taken care of. That happens in some measure each day with my wonderful husband. He does some really practical things to help: he takes Orison upstairs or outside after dinner so I can clean up the kitchen in peace; he gives me alone time as often as he can; he encourages me to go out and do things I enjoy; he carries the laundry up and down the stairs; etc.

But some days I long for more than that. I want to be mothered. I want to revert to childhood, when things were simpler. Having my parents here is as close as it will ever get. When my mom sees that my windows are dirty, she takes it upon herself to clean them. When my dad hears that I could use a new shirt or something, he offers to buy it for me. When I just want to go upstairs and lay down, I don’t have to worry about whether my child will be well taken care of. It’s a beautiful thing.

So Bonus #4 was extra special for me on this visit. Of course you can never totally turn off adult responsibilities, but sometimes it’s nice to simulate the simplicity of childhood with parents and just let them take care of you.

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Entry filed under: Grief, Life.

Bonus #3 of Grandparents in Town: Special Outings Post-nap Singing Time

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. shawnda  |  June 9, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    a bonus indeed!!! There’s been so many times I have wanted that – mostly when I’m sick, and Jason has to work!!! I always wish my mom was here for those days……today being one of them!

    So thankful you were cared for in a special way by your parents!

    Reply
  • 2. Mrs. MK  |  June 9, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    What a blessing your parents are to you!! (and they are blessed to be able to help you!)

    Reply
  • 3. diane  |  June 9, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    I know it’s so weird to write to you and I don’t even know you! ha! however, your blog so often touches my heart. You have a way of expressing yourself that gets right to the heart.
    How kind of God to give you these insights to the blessings of your parent’s visits.
    How kind of God to give you small respites from the work of grief.
    How kind of God to give you such a wonderful husband and incredible parents!
    How kind of God that he prompts you to share publically with us.
    I have several people whom I pray for who have had a loved one go to be with Jesus and another who lost their child. Your blog has been an encouragement to her. I pray for you too.
    I don’t expect you to respond (after all, you don’t know me) 🙂 .. I just wanted you to know that your words and thoughts are not wasted. They are an encouragement.
    May God continue to encoruage you.
    because of the cross,
    diane

    Reply
  • 4. kait  |  June 9, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    yes, i know that feeling. My mom just left today to go home, and it is always hard when they leave. It’s not easy having all your family out of town, I can relate! But I guess there is a silver lining in that when you do visit or they visit you, perhaps time you do spend is more appreciated!

    Reply
  • 5. Elisabeth  |  June 9, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Thank you for saying this! I have trouble letting my parents parent me sometimes, so it’s nice to see others who have similar “kid instincts.”

    During my first trimester I had a troublesome bout of the ickies as well as some depression. I went to my mom’s for a few days and was so glad I did – I came back more refreshed and very blessed to be parented for a little while. It sounds like you are enjoying the benefits of this, too!

    Reply
  • 6. rachel  |  June 9, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    It definitely is nice to have mom or dad take care of me sometimes. when I had stomach flu 2 months ago, I didn’t know how I could do anything – I couldn’t walk up the stairs in my weakness. My mom came and did some messy and embarrassing things for me without complaint because I was too weak too. This was only a 24 hour stint, but it meant the world to me.

    Our parents are ALWAYS are parents, and we are always their children.

    Reply
  • 7. Kendall  |  June 9, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    That is funny, isn’t it?
    My husband was too busy to think about food when we moved. I was too stressed to ask for a break. My mom came in – took one look at my strained face – and made a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin run – for the entire moving crew! Definite benefit to having family nearby. (lol)

    Reply
  • 8. Tiffany  |  June 9, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    I share some of those same feelings. My parents don’t live around here either and it feels so wonderful when they come. I feel like I can relax. They just kind of take care of things. I guess we just never outgrow the need to be taken care of. I’m glad you had a nice time with your parents. How often do you get to see them?

    Reply
  • 9. Chris  |  June 10, 2008 at 4:45 am

    I agree. Whenever my mom visits I always feel just a little bit more lighthearted and easy going. I only lived with her for a few years growing up, so any time that we get to spend together is really special.

    Reply
  • 10. Julie  |  June 10, 2008 at 7:21 am

    Molly, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I came to your blog from a link to your articles on grief–thank you for all the wonderful ideas on how to encourage and really help someone who’s going through a difficult time. It’s so easy to just say–“let me know if you need anything,” and leave it at that.

    My mom was just here for her birthday–she lives about 8 hours away, so we don’t see each other a lot. I’ve been really overwhelmed with housework lately, but while she was here, she did all of our laundry and even purchased plants for our yard–and put them in the ground for me! So for her birthday–she blessed me!

    I have a hard time letting people do so much for me, but I realized how humbling it is to admit that I NEED HELP!

    It sounds like a lot of us know that feeling–of still needing someone to parent us and help us out when we’re feeling overwhelmed.

    Reply
  • 11. Casey Chappell  |  June 11, 2008 at 5:08 am

    Hi Molly, I’m a fried of Dana Cordell here at Treasuring Christ in Raleigh.
    I know you’re rejoicing with us for baby Mercy!! you’ll have to come see her some day soon.

    I”m commenting because I really am just beginning to go through a hard time with my baby (I am 28 weeks pregnant) if you get a chance to read my blog you’ll know the story http://www.caseychappell.typepad.com/baby

    I’ve been following your blog for a while now and praying for you. I know your words will really help and continue to minister to my heart in the coming months!

    I was just thinking yesterday that I wish there was a rocking chair big enough to hold someone rocking me like a baby. That would feel so safe and comforting. I know God’s way bigger then a rocking chair… but I still thought that sounded really nice at the time. So girl, enjoy those grandparents! Rest!

    Thanks for bearing your heart on here. It is a ministry to me for one.

    Love you and I haven’t even met you!

    Praying for Faith,

    Casey Chappell

    Reply
  • 12. bubbles  |  June 12, 2008 at 5:32 am

    wonderful parents are truly a gift from God

    Reply
  • 13. Lindsay  |  June 12, 2008 at 9:17 am

    That is really great. Praise God for the refreshment in the form of Mom and Dad. 🙂 Hope you have a great and lovely day.

    Reply
  • 14. Hannah  |  June 12, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    I don’t know what I would have done in the past 4 months if my parents didn’t live close by. There is such comfort in being taken care of by your mom and dad–even at age 30!

    (And thanks for providing the link to your post about Felicity–that answers my question that I asked you in an e-mail.)

    Reply

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