We light a candle…

September 22, 2009 at 10:32 am 48 comments

Last night we lit candles. On the eve of our daughter Felicity’s 2-year homegoing anniversary, our dear friend Barbie read us a beautiful piece she had written. She adapted it from something written for her on the 2-year anniversary of her son’s death back in August.

We lit candles for love, joy, memories, tears, hope, peace, and strength.

I wasn’t expecting this at all, but the stanza about joy was the one that touched me the deepest. I don’t feel like I connect with the word joy very much in my grief. So I was surprised by joy, even as the tears ran down my face.

Here’s what she wrote:

We light a candle for JOY:

For the joy of a wedding;
For the joy of Orison’s birth;
For the joy of Morrow’s sweet life;
For the joy of Felicity’s name;
For the joy in hearts that waited for her;
For her joy in the presence of our God;
For the joy, for the Felicity of our risen Lord.

Happy birthday, Felicity Margaret.


Entry filed under: Faith, Felicity, Grief.

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48 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Bryan  |  September 22, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Beautiful – thanks, Molly.

  • 2. Elizabeth Esther  |  September 22, 2009 at 10:43 am

    Lighting a candle of remembrance and joy, too.

    Hugs and love,

  • 3. Robyn Koplin  |  September 22, 2009 at 10:47 am

    Happy Birthday Felicity! Molly I’m praying for you and your family today. Love you.

  • 4. Shane Clements  |  September 22, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Thank you for your posts. Our 6th child, Michael, went to Heaven on April 20, 2009, after fighting for 18 days with Trisomy 18. I just wanted to let you know that your posts have been a blessing and an encouragement to my wife and me and you guys are in our thoughts and prayers.

  • 5. Susan  |  September 22, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Happy Birthday, Felicity. We are thinking of you with incredibly heavy hearts today, Molly. I blogged it last night, in case you didn’t see, that we think about you guys all the time. We pray for you. Your loss & grief continues to be important to me. It has changed me & how I think about parenthood, birth, death, etc.


    Thank you for your post. You are an incredible woman and mother.

  • 6. Emily  |  September 22, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    Thinking of you today. The two year anniversary of our baby girl, Miller Grace, entering Heaven was this past June 28. May the JOY of the Lord be our strength.

  • 7. Lisa notes...  |  September 22, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    I have an upcoming celebration soon of what-would-have-been my daughter’s 16th birthday. We never forget our children, no matter how long they were here or how long they’ve been gone. Incredible reunions are ahead.

    Praying for your grief and joy of Felicity. Birthdays are bittersweet days.

  • 8. Kirstjen Pratt  |  September 22, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    We’re thinking of you guys today!

  • 9. Shadley  |  September 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Thanks for this post. Our son’s one year in Heaven is Sept 3 of this year.

  • 10. jennapants  |  September 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    this morning i cried a cry i’d never heard before. you would think you’ve cried every kind of cry you possibly could by the time your 32, but no. it was unrecognizable to me, but it was coming from deep down as i thought about what your morning was like two years ago.

    i love you all very much.

  • 11. Cara  |  September 22, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    I’ve been thinking and praying for your family this week.

  • 12. Jane  |  September 22, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    Mourning with you dear Molly and family on your loss and rejoicing with you in the hope of heaven through Jesus.

  • 13. Stacy  |  September 22, 2009 at 2:00 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. With the 1 year anniversary of Isaac’s birth and homegoing coming up on October 7, this really touched me.

  • 14. Debby  |  September 22, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Praying for you all, Molly.

  • 15. rachel  |  September 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    Thinking of your family and Felicity today. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

  • 16. Andie  |  September 22, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    been carrying you along in my heart as Felicity’s birthday approached. thanks for sharing how you are.

  • 17. Laura Gruner  |  September 22, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Happy Birthday Felicity! What a beautiful poem to remember such a special daughter!

  • 18. shawnda  |  September 22, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    That is beautifully written and said. I can imagine the JOY that will fill your heart in eternity, friend. Been thinking of you as the days approach today and all day today. I love you much!

  • 19. Kelly @ Love Well  |  September 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    I only wish I could carry some of the burden for you, sweet Molly.

    Lifting you to Jesus today.

  • 20. karla  |  September 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    loving ALL of you.

  • 21. Andrea  |  September 22, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    I still think of Felicity most days. Happy Birthday sweet girl! I wonder what her first 2 years of heaven have been like.

    Continuing to love, think about, pray for, and grieve with you Molly!

  • 22. Jackie  |  September 22, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Molly – I love your blog and have been so thankful for your transparency in grief and sharing your life. I have seen Christ in new ways as I get a better glimpse of godly sorrow and seeing how well you trust Jesus through it.

    Thinking of you guys and Felicity on her birthday today. Praying for you and your beautiful family – for the joy of the Lord to be your constant strength!

  • 23. Christine  |  September 22, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    Happy Heaven Day Felicity. Praying for your family Molly. What a beautiful way to celebrate.

  • 24. Emily  |  September 22, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Wow. 2 years. Thinking of you today, and hoping that this day is full of joy with your sorrow.

  • 25. Hannah  |  September 22, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    I’ve been thinking about you, your family, and your daughter Felicity a lot this week, and especially today. Thank you for letting us share a moment of this day.

  • 26. amanda  |  September 22, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    praying for you and your family today in alabama.

  • 27. Bethany  |  September 22, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    I’m crying for you, Molly.
    And praying that you would feel God’s nearness in a deep way today.

  • 28. Kathleen Westlund  |  September 22, 2009 at 10:40 pm

    I’m praying for you, dear friend.

  • 29. Melanie  |  September 22, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    Can’t believe it has been 2 years; I am still so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I don’t comment much (ok, hardly ever), but I always read and learn. Your ministry to us all with this blog has been such a blessing, and I have been so encouraged by you. I wish there were a way to encourage you! Thank you for being so honest and real- I wish I were as brave as you! I look forward to the Day when Jesus comes and fulfills our Hope, and we can not only meet Him face to face, but have many joyful reunions with loved ones who have passed away. What a wonderful hope!

  • 30. Jennifer  |  September 22, 2009 at 11:40 pm


    I woke up this morning, realized the date, and immediately began praying for you all…thought of how you wrote last year about singing her name (such a beautiful name, you gave her)– I pray today was a a day of inexplicable peace–with joy to be found in the promise of the “intense happiness” to come when you see her again.

    I pray the Lord’s comfort, peace, and closeless for you, Abraham, Orison, and Morrow even now-

    In Christ who conquered death.

  • 31. Amy  |  September 23, 2009 at 4:51 am

    I can hardly believe it has been 2 years. Even though I did not “meet” you until after Emmy’s death in February when your grief was still very fresh and I was just raw and numb, it does not seem it could possibly be 2 years already. Sometimes I hurt that the “years” since Emmy’s death are coming, rather than forever staying at months or “last year.” Someday it will be 30 years and I will still feel as though it was just yesterday.

    As for joy…it will never feel the same as it once did. You are no longer innocent with a joy that is ignorant of pain. But I honestly believe that joy after losing a child can be so much deeper and more real because you DO know that intense grief.

    I pray that the Lord restores your joy, dear Molly. {{HUGS}} on this 2 year anniversary of Felicity’s homegoing.
    ~Amy @ Raising Arrows

  • 32. Julie  |  September 23, 2009 at 6:00 am

    What a precious stewardship of faith, loss, love, grief, and joy you have as a family. Praying for you this morning…joy comes in the morning. God is blessing Felicity’s legacy.

  • 33. Rachel  |  September 23, 2009 at 7:28 am

    We have been thinking of you and praying for you.
    With much love,
    The Maves

  • 34. Dorothy  |  September 23, 2009 at 8:20 am

    Lighting our Felicity candle also. May the light penetrate the darkness of grief.

  • 35. Greta  |  September 23, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Happy 2nd Birthday, Felicity!
    You know Jesus is busy chasing after her sweet little face ;).

  • 36. Tess  |  September 23, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Happy Birthday to sweet Felicity. Yesterday was my nephew’s 5th birthday and today is my 24th. My mom and I read your blog and your husband’s. Last night at family dinner we decided to light a candle in honor of your baby girl. My nephew Mason also wanted to sing to Happy Birthday to her, so we did. I just wanted you to know that the Gilton family in California is remembering Felicity with you. Our Jenessa went to be with Jesus 8 years ago, we know that birthdays are bittersweet. We pray for you all the time, my Mom especially because she knows.

  • 37. Kelly  |  September 23, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    I am remembering and praising God along with you today, for your sweet daughter!
    I am new to your blog, but have been eating up all of your shared insight and experience with grief.
    God’s work is evident in and through your words written here.

    It is no small thing that God brought me to your blog one day before finding out that a dear friend’s unborn baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. Should God ordain a miracle, Micah may live, but the humanly understood facts tell my friend she must prepare to say goodbye anytime before or shortly after his birth.

    My husband and I said goodbye to our Leeanne, a little girl, at 12 weeks into our pregnancy with her…. The Lord has given me some understanding of how to comfort through that loss, but much more through your testimony!

    Thank you for allowing and being the channel that your Felicity might touch so many lives for His glory!

  • 38. Rachel @ RaJenCreation  |  September 23, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • 39. Brook (Matt5verse6)  |  September 23, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    Praise God.
    Happy Birthday, Felicity.

  • 40. ebe  |  September 23, 2009 at 3:38 pm

    Remembering sweet Felicity today. Two years and one day after her wonderful homecoming.


  • 41. Laura  |  September 23, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Peace of Christ be with you, Molly.

  • 42. Seth Rima  |  September 25, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    My family lost our new addition this past week, on the 21st, in fact. His name was Parker Ellis Flint. My sister went full term, but lost Parker with one week remaining. In this terribly sorrowful experience, it has been incredible to see God’s providence, and the strength He grants us. Reading your blog has been very uplifting to me. Thank you and God bless. My sister also has a blog…getflint.blogspot.com
    -Seth Rima

  • 43. dawn  |  September 30, 2009 at 9:30 am

    10 years today since my sweet boy went to heaven. Isn’t it amazing that we survive and even thrive after such loss? Praise God.

    thanks for your blog.

  • 44. Donna Lochridge  |  October 1, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    I read Pastor John Piper’s blog about your daughter a week ago. Well I did not see the date and thought it had just happened so got on FaceBook to get friends praying for Abraham and Molly. Was embarassed to find out it was an old post revisited. Then I thought that time doesn’t mean anything to the Lord and you both probably still could use prayer anytime like me, so felt much better about it all.

  • 45. Amy  |  October 3, 2009 at 4:17 am

    Thank you for sharing that tender moment with all of us. May God bless you!

  • 46. Boy Crazy  |  October 3, 2009 at 11:11 am

    I’m here via Saturday Evening Blog Post for the first time. It’s amazing and wonderful that you can find joy amidst your grief. I am not sure if I would be so strong.

  • 47. georgie  |  October 3, 2009 at 11:17 am

    What a beautiful Poem, I just want to hug you. I can not fathom loss of a child

  • 48. Alisa  |  October 3, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing… You are beautiful in your willingness to accept the joy amidst the hurt…


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